sacred days

there are just some days that drip holiness and the corners fill up with the sacred. I guess its not surprising that one of those days would be the high holy day Yom Kippur, but the chronological predictability of holiness doesn't ever seem to diminish the personal importance.

i've been to synagogue several times before. but never on one of the high holy days. today, the front entrance was shut and we (my friend Rebecca, or Riv'ca, and I) had to walk around the back and show photo id to the guards, lest we be some sort of malintentioned anti-Semite. today, when I walked in, I received a kippah like always but I also received prayer shawl so that I might appropriately mark the solemnity of the occasion. I was taught the prayer and had never been more glad that I had taken Hebrew. "Baruch atah Adonai Eloheynu, melekh ha-olam..." and that's all I can remember. But even that constantly repeated bit, in the context of a faith community that so honestly struggles with God was a wonderful witness to me of the reality of the life that God gives God's people. "Blessed are you, Oh Lord our God, ruler of the universe..." over and over again. before and after selections of Scripture, before and after age-old prayers.

There are a lot of things I could say in criticism of my own tradition (or non-tradition), but I don't think that's appropriate. The point for me this morning was the great blessedness of tradition, even if that is a tradition that we don't feel does justice to what is true and right. Rabbi Scott Meltzer spoke about the tension between the schools of Shammai and Hillel, about 100 years before Christ. He spoke about their two vastly different, though technically correct interpretations of the Torah and how it was in their difference of opinion that the real bottom of things was found. Hillel and Shammai would disagree about virtually everything, carrying on discussions for up to 3 years at a time. Eventually, though, it was the school of Hillel that came to be predominant in the tradition. Why was this? Rabbi Meltzer taught us that it was because those that followed Hillel would, with humility and respect, defer to Shammai, even stating his argument before their own in the long discussions. Hillel's followers were not more influential because they argued better. Rather, they ended up influencing things more deeply because they showed the Jewish community "derek eretz" (?)--the way to live. Even so, let us not discard Shammai. Both Hillel and Shammai were respectful of one another, even overlooking some aspects of the law for the sake of respecting the others' authority and continuing to keep the community together. the Rabbi spoke of the ugly and hard parts of community, of us not being able to agree on major things even though we think we have the same fundamental beliefs, values, etc. How can 5 people start at the same place and use the same materials and tools yet come to 5 different products? that is a mystery but anyone who has paid attention to any sort of community knows that it is true. here, in the community, is the real life of God lived out. the community gathers on Yom Kippur to recognize its sinfulness, to plead "ha-melekh ha-olam" for forgiveness and restoration. Our community is to gather together at times that we do not want to for reasons that we do not want to. We are to do things together that do not seem attractive for the sake of being one before God, of coming to God as a community and recognizing that our lives create a tremendous tapestry before the Father above. There is a prayer that is not prayed on normal Shabbats that was prayed today. It includes the repetition of the phrase "Avinu Eloheynu"--"Our Father, our God"--that indicates a very personal relationship. Daddy. I hear that at times in Christian circles and often think it cheesy and borderline disrespectful. but here, it is not one person invoking the Ruler of the Universe as their Daddy. Rather, we come together and pray, in the fashion of the Lord's Prayer, "Our Father, our God..."

I sat among several hundred Jews of varying levels of observance and read the prayers, listened to the selections and the Midrash of Rabbi Meltzer. I sat wrapped in a shawl, and, like an awkward junior higher in his first pair of stylish jeans, couldn't help but play with the tassels, fingering the knots and patterns of strings and hoping that the veteran Jews around me considered this sort of activity pious. I was awkward. My Hebrew is awful. I had to ask for help to even put the shawl on. But as much as I didn't belong, this was my God. These were my people--even if I mean that in the sense that a disenfranchised cousin means it at his first family reunion back after a 25 year absence. I sat near the back of that synagogue, wrapped in the prayers of my long-lost family, fingering the edges of my tassels and wishing i knew the words being spoken.
But even here at a Yom Kippur service, i was not so disenfranchised. the sacredness of God's redemption was in this place. prayers for forgiveness, for redemption were a distinct reminder of my own sin. I was reminded that the covenant of God is not something that I can put a limit or a time period on. my (our) conceptions of God must not be constrained to our own definitions of redemption. Jesus came to fulfill the Torah, not abolish it.

i'm learning to let the sacred whisper and move into the corners of my life. my life is a home with many corners. the question for me is how do I let God move into those corners instead of filling my life with my own cobwebs and unused junk? Blessed are you, O Lord our God, Ruler of the universe.

we watched Planet Earth today after temple and I was reminded, again, of the holiness of this life. to see creation and watch the sacred movements of creation returns me once more to this deep yearning to see the LORD move into my house and take over even the corners with sacred moments. i sometimes wish i could express this feeling i have, but right now i think i'm more content to let it sit and not be explained. to be sacred, set apart, in the silence of the knowledge of the LORD on high.

Baruch atah Adonai Eloheynu melekh haolam...

Amen