Aug 28, 2010

ok. this one's just about beards.


Hi, friends and strangers.

i wanted to take a minute to talk about something a
little less serious than my typical fare. Its right down the pipe of all those indie hipster-but-not-hipster feelings that I have about myself, but I figure I ought to do it anyway.

I have a beard.

This gets many and sundry responses at various times and places. Mostly, older people ignore it until I make some sort of self-deprecating remark or ask them if I have food in my beard. Then they say no politely and conspicuously neglect to comment further. Some younger people really like it and tell me so, which is kind. Some babies like me despite my facial fur. Some babies (like my lovely niece Aubrial) cry and reach for their mothers as soon as they see me.*

But regardless of people's feelings about my beard, I like it. I like it big and fluffy. I've been thinking about why there has been a resurgence in beard love among the young people. Maybe its because we've just gotten to the point where we can actually grow them. But I think there might be something else to this. I think that beards have come back in part because of the closing gap in the things that women and men are socially certified to do. Women do a lot of things that men used to have exclusive access to. Men do a lot of things that used to be considered feminine. All of this is a good thing. We used to be pretty moronic about our standards. But there are a few things that are exclusive. Let's face it. I'm a dude, so I can't have babies. But I can grow a beard. I can't nurture a human life inside me and give of my very own self until it bursts forth into the outer world to its own independent (sort of) life.

But I can grow a beard. I can nurture a shape and form on my face that expresses not only my own self and the myriad uniqueness that comes with that, but I can find a solidarity with men, great and small, across the world and across time. Karl Marx, Chuck Norris, Abraham Lincoln, the Cabrillo Lighthouse guy, Ulysses S Grant, plenty of my homeless friends, N.T. Wright, Moses, Stanley Hauerwas, Adam (of Adam and Eve fame--I've never seen a picture of him with a beard, but I can't imagine that the Garden of Eden was so prepubescent. Why does Eve have all her lady parts [strategically covered, of course], but Adam looks like a nude metrosexual/15-year old?), Nate Horner circa 2008 and countless other unnamed beard heroes, just to name a few.

My point is, I can't have a baby, but my beard can be my baby. Its the one of the few things women can't do that I can. Mustaches are the same thing. And if you're a man and can't grow a beard, whatever; its not that important because you can find another way to be gender specific. You're creative people.

M
eanwhile, all of you--male, female and otherwise--should examine this excellent photojournalistic effort from the 2009 World Beard and Mustache Championships in Bend, OR. Pay particular attention to photo #18. That's Jack Passion. Real name. Real beard. He's a legend, one of competitive bearding's first prodigies.

http://www.time.com/time/photogallery/0,29307,1658835_1439509,00.html

If you read this far, bless your heart.



*Sidenote: It took 2 days, but eventually my superior wit and charm overtook Aubrial and she loved me as much as she would have without our hard times. Maybe more.

**I wanted to send a shout-out to all the bearded ladies from across the years. You've been inspirational and we wouldn't know how to give our categories meaning without your sacrifice and vision into what it means to be who we are. Let's hang out sometime. But not like that.

4 comments:

Mary Madelynn said...

I disagree. Your beard is not a baby. Though I, like Kesha, am a fan of beards, I find the nature of beards much more of an expression of rugged individualism. Women to not have babies in order to distinguish themselves as females. In fact, at best, a child is an expression of human creation in some ways mirroring God who said "let us make man in OUR image." Our culture is more accustomed to glorifying childbirth as a feminist statement, but lets face it, it take two to tango.

But perhaps beards in their origin served a communal purpose. Maybe as Adam and Eve gathered fruits, veggies, and various nuts through the garden they stored the excess in Adam's beard (a tradition that you seem to have carried on even today, six thousand years later). Maybe the reason why men's facial hair often has renegade shades of color is evidence of the forbidden fruit which still resides in the sons of Adam. I don't know. God works in mysterious ways.

Jeff said...

be careful when talking about the forbidden fruit which still resides in me, a son of Adam.

Anonymous said...

Hahaha I thought Brian and Maddie were joking when they told me that you had a whole blog dedicated to beards. I don't care though. I think that's awesome. And I love your Spoken word/ Poetry... Really awesome stuff!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha I thought Brian and Maddie were joking when they told me that you had a whole blog dedicated to beards. I don't care though. I think that's awesome. And I love your Spoken word/ Poetry... Really awesome stuff!

-Bobby Wheeler