I want to lay out my central question when it comes to justice. Tonight at salvation Army, Kenneth said to me, before launching into a long plan for making the church do the church's work, "It ain't a sin to be on the street. The problem is what you are doing while you are on the streets."
so here's my question: social justice seems to be pushing a very particular vision of what a socially just society would look like and no matter which way i turn, this vision seems to be almost entirely filled with liberal-democratic notions of "the good life" that comes through the pursuit of happiness. I want to see a society that promotes righteousness first and the end of poverty, hunger, the welfare of the city (Jer. 29), and the education of kids comes out of that.
We seek to end poverty so that the poor can seek Christian poverty.
We seek to end hunger so that the hungry can fast.
We seek to educate so that the illiterate can read and seek God in the lives of the saints and in the Scriptures.
We seek to bring an end to the structures of death as an outgrowth of choosing life (Deut. 30).
my point is that we do not become active citizens but that we move people to a standard that allows them to be good (e.g. they do not have to steal to eat) and then do not pressure them to become more wealthy but rather we teach the value of poverty and simplicity. To expect wealth is to lose their personhood while they are poor. Let us recognize that the poor and the wealthy and everyone in between is a gift of God--a precious gift worth celebrating and valuing. Our work should not be neutral to our love of these people but rather, it should flow out of a love for people. If we lose the love, we should take a sabbatical from our organizing and our justice work to fall in love with the people again.
I want justice--justice rooted in righteousness, holiness, sanctification, and love.
Feb 26, 2008
Feb 23, 2008
justice again.
This is what the LORD Almighty, the God of Israel, says to all those I carried into exile from Jerusalem to Babylon: "Build houses and settle down; plant gardens and eat what they produce. Marry and have sons and daughters; find wives for your sons and give your daughters in marriage, so that they too may have sons and daughters. Increase in number there; do not decrease. Also, seek the peace and prosperity of the city to which I have carried you into exile. Pray to the LORD for it, because if it prospers, you too will prosper." (Jeremiah 29:4-7)
all right. so i was thinking more about justice today and i want to lay some of this out for discussion and to get it out of my head.
There are two terms, i'm told, for justice in the old testament. Mishpat, which essentially means something along the lines of "what's coming to you" and Tzedekal (sp.?), which is more about the character of God and is derived from the word Tzedek or "righteousness." Kevin Modesto was talking about these today and his comment was that both of these seem either deficient (mishpat) or not applicable to us humans (tzedekal). He said he wants "something more than justice. I want shalom (wholeness)." First, my beef with this. Second, my answer to this.
Beef: Kevin agrees with many of the criticisms of justice language that make it seem as if justice is this thing that we can somehow objectively get to or that it is something that is in the category of the "good" or the "bad" which draw on very Platonic dualistic ideas that make these wispy forms of the "good", etc. co-eternal with God rather than finding their origin and life in God. So, God does not do things because God is just. rather, God does things because the act is Just and God is conforming with what is best. God's creation is not good because it is God's. It is good because God made creation to line up with this ultimate Good which God most perfectly embodies. "Social justice" does the same thing. It makes it seem as if "justice" is this place that we can legitimately get to in any sort of substantive way with or without Jesus. Jesus makes it easier, of course, but justice is not dependent on Jesus. It's like saying, "Oh, anyone can love me. But my wife does it the best, so I try to go to her the most. but if other women have something to offer, a new way of loving me, then I don't mind going to them because ultimately, its important that i get loved rather than who is loving me, right?"
Also, the whole concept of Shalom seems to do the same thing. The whole craze around the word Shalom, and i am very guilty of participating in it, makes me wonder why we love it so much. I think we love the idea of shalom because it is not so different from our modern Western liberal ideas of what the point of life is: to seek our wholeness and holistic well-being (no different from "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"). Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all about the "prosperity of the city." but why are we seeking it? Why do we organize so that kids can get better educations? Why do we push to eradicate AIDS and make the border a safer place for families and individuals? Why do we do these things? I'm not sure yet. But I know that we don't (or shouldn't) do them so that we will win and therefore eradicate suffering. As Christians, I think we seek out those that are suffering so that we can walk with them and part of walking with them is working against these things with them. But we don't organize around issues. We don't jump on social justice bandwagons (on non-bandwagons). we work from and with and through and because of people that God loves and wants to bring to salvation. We go to listen to the wisdom of the oppressed and the forgotten. We go to bear them up SO THAT we both might praise God more humbly and purely, live more righteously, love more purely. In our walking with, both parties are brought more close to the life of the Son, transformed more into the likeness of the Son on the earth. And that is where we end. we are not transformed so that the environment will be saved or so that no one will be poor or any other issue. we are transformed because transformation is the end. To become more like the Son and live more and more in the glorious light of God the Father: these are the goals (the ends, the teloses) that we Christians live with and for. If everything in me is returning to the Father--money, time, gifts, talents, everything--then i am succeeding by the strength of Jesus Christ.
Answer: What if our movements and passion do not fall prey to the whims of a liberal-democratic nation-state but rather, we use all of those resources that we have to create societies where it is easier to be good. this is borrowing straight from Peter Maurin, but i think that's the only place i can legitimately land. I want to work to create righteous societies. Take the language of justice out of it. I don't care about justice. I don't care about equality. The Bible seems to take inequality as a necessary thing. Notice it is not a necessary evil, but rather a sort of neutral quality that brings about a textured sort of church.
Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. (1 Cor. 7)
Paul also writes to Philemon that he really wants to make Philemon let Onesimus go but he won't "on the basis of love." Paul doesn't even fight for social justice in the church! So here is my question. If all that we are to be doing is on the basis of love, ultimately serving one another and laying our lives down for one another, rather than organizing against each other and demonstrating power to get what we want, then why do we think that "justice" is so important? I say that we don't need justice. We need a community of Tzadikim, of righteous ones who live righteously and push others to do so, who are the impetus behind a sort of social righteousness that stands up for each other on the basis of love, that stands up for those across the world, even, on the basis of love--a love found in the self-sacrifice of Jesus, who did not consider equality with God (by all means his right was to claim equality with God!) something to be exploited but who became like a human and suffered and died and was then raised to life. Social righteousness, not social justice. For us Wesleyans, Social holiness. This is something we can hang with.
It strips movements of their power. it takes away our need for peace-sign earrings and "love" t-shirts. but it means that we care less about whether or not people see what we are doing and care more about whether or not we are doing it in the best possible ways. We don't need issues. We need love. We need faces. we give time and money, we make a big stink, we write letters, we even vote and protest at times because of love for those that are in these situations, not because of issues. To care and be involved in the lives of those around us is part of being and becoming righteous. it is part of being transformed into the likeness of Jesus. it is part of becoming a follower of Jesus rather than an admirer of Jesus.
Admirers are only too willing to serve Christ as long as proper caution is exercised, lest one personally come in contact with danger. They refuse to accept that Christ’s life is a demand. In actual fact, they are offended by him. His radical, bizarre character so offends them that when they honestly see Christ for who he is, they are no longer able to experience the tranquility they so much seek after. They know full well that to associate with him too closely amounts to being up for examination. Even though he says nothing against them personally, they know that his life tacitly judges theirs. (Soren Kierkegaard)
let me sum up. I don't want shalom unless that shalom is leading us to righteousness. That sort of shalom will not take us away from suffering and struggle. Rather, it will lead us into it. it will challenge and change us, but we must always live with that sort of willingness to be transformed. We need to long to be made righteous and not long for the trappings of righteousness to become a reality in this physical world. Rather than simply planting gardens and working for the welfare of the city, we need to become those that accept what God has given us and begin to work with God's strength to make good out of it, to love in the midst of hate and to teach those around us to love in a way that comes from the one who is love, who is peace, who is shalom. Ultimately, we need to lead people back to God and the welfare and hope found therein and not to the welfare of the city or the hope of a well-planned and -organized social structure.
all right. so i was thinking more about justice today and i want to lay some of this out for discussion and to get it out of my head.
There are two terms, i'm told, for justice in the old testament. Mishpat, which essentially means something along the lines of "what's coming to you" and Tzedekal (sp.?), which is more about the character of God and is derived from the word Tzedek or "righteousness." Kevin Modesto was talking about these today and his comment was that both of these seem either deficient (mishpat) or not applicable to us humans (tzedekal). He said he wants "something more than justice. I want shalom (wholeness)." First, my beef with this. Second, my answer to this.
Beef: Kevin agrees with many of the criticisms of justice language that make it seem as if justice is this thing that we can somehow objectively get to or that it is something that is in the category of the "good" or the "bad" which draw on very Platonic dualistic ideas that make these wispy forms of the "good", etc. co-eternal with God rather than finding their origin and life in God. So, God does not do things because God is just. rather, God does things because the act is Just and God is conforming with what is best. God's creation is not good because it is God's. It is good because God made creation to line up with this ultimate Good which God most perfectly embodies. "Social justice" does the same thing. It makes it seem as if "justice" is this place that we can legitimately get to in any sort of substantive way with or without Jesus. Jesus makes it easier, of course, but justice is not dependent on Jesus. It's like saying, "Oh, anyone can love me. But my wife does it the best, so I try to go to her the most. but if other women have something to offer, a new way of loving me, then I don't mind going to them because ultimately, its important that i get loved rather than who is loving me, right?"
Also, the whole concept of Shalom seems to do the same thing. The whole craze around the word Shalom, and i am very guilty of participating in it, makes me wonder why we love it so much. I think we love the idea of shalom because it is not so different from our modern Western liberal ideas of what the point of life is: to seek our wholeness and holistic well-being (no different from "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness"). Now, don't get me wrong. I'm all about the "prosperity of the city." but why are we seeking it? Why do we organize so that kids can get better educations? Why do we push to eradicate AIDS and make the border a safer place for families and individuals? Why do we do these things? I'm not sure yet. But I know that we don't (or shouldn't) do them so that we will win and therefore eradicate suffering. As Christians, I think we seek out those that are suffering so that we can walk with them and part of walking with them is working against these things with them. But we don't organize around issues. We don't jump on social justice bandwagons (on non-bandwagons). we work from and with and through and because of people that God loves and wants to bring to salvation. We go to listen to the wisdom of the oppressed and the forgotten. We go to bear them up SO THAT we both might praise God more humbly and purely, live more righteously, love more purely. In our walking with, both parties are brought more close to the life of the Son, transformed more into the likeness of the Son on the earth. And that is where we end. we are not transformed so that the environment will be saved or so that no one will be poor or any other issue. we are transformed because transformation is the end. To become more like the Son and live more and more in the glorious light of God the Father: these are the goals (the ends, the teloses) that we Christians live with and for. If everything in me is returning to the Father--money, time, gifts, talents, everything--then i am succeeding by the strength of Jesus Christ.
Answer: What if our movements and passion do not fall prey to the whims of a liberal-democratic nation-state but rather, we use all of those resources that we have to create societies where it is easier to be good. this is borrowing straight from Peter Maurin, but i think that's the only place i can legitimately land. I want to work to create righteous societies. Take the language of justice out of it. I don't care about justice. I don't care about equality. The Bible seems to take inequality as a necessary thing. Notice it is not a necessary evil, but rather a sort of neutral quality that brings about a textured sort of church.
Each one should remain in the situation which he was in when God called him. Were you a slave when you were called? Don't let it trouble you—although if you can gain your freedom, do so. For he who was a slave when he was called by the Lord is the Lord's freedman; similarly, he who was a free man when he was called is Christ's slave. (1 Cor. 7)
Paul also writes to Philemon that he really wants to make Philemon let Onesimus go but he won't "on the basis of love." Paul doesn't even fight for social justice in the church! So here is my question. If all that we are to be doing is on the basis of love, ultimately serving one another and laying our lives down for one another, rather than organizing against each other and demonstrating power to get what we want, then why do we think that "justice" is so important? I say that we don't need justice. We need a community of Tzadikim, of righteous ones who live righteously and push others to do so, who are the impetus behind a sort of social righteousness that stands up for each other on the basis of love, that stands up for those across the world, even, on the basis of love--a love found in the self-sacrifice of Jesus, who did not consider equality with God (by all means his right was to claim equality with God!) something to be exploited but who became like a human and suffered and died and was then raised to life. Social righteousness, not social justice. For us Wesleyans, Social holiness. This is something we can hang with.
It strips movements of their power. it takes away our need for peace-sign earrings and "love" t-shirts. but it means that we care less about whether or not people see what we are doing and care more about whether or not we are doing it in the best possible ways. We don't need issues. We need love. We need faces. we give time and money, we make a big stink, we write letters, we even vote and protest at times because of love for those that are in these situations, not because of issues. To care and be involved in the lives of those around us is part of being and becoming righteous. it is part of being transformed into the likeness of Jesus. it is part of becoming a follower of Jesus rather than an admirer of Jesus.
Admirers are only too willing to serve Christ as long as proper caution is exercised, lest one personally come in contact with danger. They refuse to accept that Christ’s life is a demand. In actual fact, they are offended by him. His radical, bizarre character so offends them that when they honestly see Christ for who he is, they are no longer able to experience the tranquility they so much seek after. They know full well that to associate with him too closely amounts to being up for examination. Even though he says nothing against them personally, they know that his life tacitly judges theirs. (Soren Kierkegaard)
let me sum up. I don't want shalom unless that shalom is leading us to righteousness. That sort of shalom will not take us away from suffering and struggle. Rather, it will lead us into it. it will challenge and change us, but we must always live with that sort of willingness to be transformed. We need to long to be made righteous and not long for the trappings of righteousness to become a reality in this physical world. Rather than simply planting gardens and working for the welfare of the city, we need to become those that accept what God has given us and begin to work with God's strength to make good out of it, to love in the midst of hate and to teach those around us to love in a way that comes from the one who is love, who is peace, who is shalom. Ultimately, we need to lead people back to God and the welfare and hope found therein and not to the welfare of the city or the hope of a well-planned and -organized social structure.
Feb 10, 2008
more justice
okay, so i'm working out more what justice means here.
justice seems to connote some sort of objective rubric off of which everything is based. The question is, what is that rubric? who sets it up? Who defines what is just? There is a deep belief that runs through "social justice" circles that justice entails something along the lines of equality, freedom to choose one's own good life (usually referring to the poor. I mean, the rich have chosen their good life. Now it's time for them to give up some of that good life--to which they are duly entitled, of course--in order to give someone else a shot.), and other ideals which are, ironically, very much a part of the American dream.
but I don't buy it. I think that placing your trust in a 200+ year old dream is ultimately a waste. What we need is not another verson of the American dream. What we need is God. We need God to begin to define justice. Responding to the call to live compassionately--that's justice. Decrying greed and exploitation--that's justice. Becoming poor yourself so that you can walk with and encourage those who are poor to find the God who became human himself--that's justice. But also, justice is something as simple as forgiving your neighbor and brother, loving those around you even in a hard way (sometimes love looks a lot like throwing someone out of your house knowing full well that they may end up homeless.). Its a matter of loving in a way that is consistent with God's Word and word. It is a matter of not lusting as much as you are not adulterous, not hating as much as you are nonviolent. But at the same time, hating your mother, taking up your cross, decrying the systems of the world that exploit people and paying your taxes on time are all justice as well. We want justice that is restorative, yes. We want justice that does more than punish but that finds the person behind the punishment and seeks to treat that person with love and respect. But more than restorative justice, we want holy justice, a justice that find the image of God behind the person that is behind the punishment and calls out that image to be real, to be true and realized in their life. I am a Wesleyan and i ought to talk about being holy more than i do. i want holy justice. When i am compassionate, when i am hard, when I am gardening or talking or picketing or organizing or punishing or whatever it is that someone might call justice, I want to be seeking the holy in the person and in myself because that is the way of the cross, to seek the holy and live that out in the world. God's kingdom in the world, showing up in places that no one expects it because people don't know what the Holy is. But God wants to show up--to show up in a way that recognizes that God has always been there, moving and shaping things and reconciling the world to Godself. I want to be a bridge for that kind of justice, the kind that reconciles the world to God's self. This is true reconciliatory justice, better than retributive, better than restorative because at its core, it recognizes that God is the end, the telos of the whole endeavor.
if you have thoughts, please leave them here.
justice seems to connote some sort of objective rubric off of which everything is based. The question is, what is that rubric? who sets it up? Who defines what is just? There is a deep belief that runs through "social justice" circles that justice entails something along the lines of equality, freedom to choose one's own good life (usually referring to the poor. I mean, the rich have chosen their good life. Now it's time for them to give up some of that good life--to which they are duly entitled, of course--in order to give someone else a shot.), and other ideals which are, ironically, very much a part of the American dream.
but I don't buy it. I think that placing your trust in a 200+ year old dream is ultimately a waste. What we need is not another verson of the American dream. What we need is God. We need God to begin to define justice. Responding to the call to live compassionately--that's justice. Decrying greed and exploitation--that's justice. Becoming poor yourself so that you can walk with and encourage those who are poor to find the God who became human himself--that's justice. But also, justice is something as simple as forgiving your neighbor and brother, loving those around you even in a hard way (sometimes love looks a lot like throwing someone out of your house knowing full well that they may end up homeless.). Its a matter of loving in a way that is consistent with God's Word and word. It is a matter of not lusting as much as you are not adulterous, not hating as much as you are nonviolent. But at the same time, hating your mother, taking up your cross, decrying the systems of the world that exploit people and paying your taxes on time are all justice as well. We want justice that is restorative, yes. We want justice that does more than punish but that finds the person behind the punishment and seeks to treat that person with love and respect. But more than restorative justice, we want holy justice, a justice that find the image of God behind the person that is behind the punishment and calls out that image to be real, to be true and realized in their life. I am a Wesleyan and i ought to talk about being holy more than i do. i want holy justice. When i am compassionate, when i am hard, when I am gardening or talking or picketing or organizing or punishing or whatever it is that someone might call justice, I want to be seeking the holy in the person and in myself because that is the way of the cross, to seek the holy and live that out in the world. God's kingdom in the world, showing up in places that no one expects it because people don't know what the Holy is. But God wants to show up--to show up in a way that recognizes that God has always been there, moving and shaping things and reconciling the world to Godself. I want to be a bridge for that kind of justice, the kind that reconciles the world to God's self. This is true reconciliatory justice, better than retributive, better than restorative because at its core, it recognizes that God is the end, the telos of the whole endeavor.
if you have thoughts, please leave them here.
Feb 7, 2008
Justice
It's funny how the term "justice" carries such disparate meanings.
For Judges, police officers and Israelites, it seems to connote hitting people who have done unacceptable and/or repulsive things with rocks, billy clubs, sticks, bullets, jail time, rocks, fists, rocks, jail cells, or the like.
For hippies, Northern Californians (okay, same thing.) and rock stars, it seems to connote large amounts of food to impoverished [African] nations, not giving anyone jail time and/or refusing to hit them with rocks, sanctions on impoverished [African] nations, the (RED) campaign, community housing, community organizing, community planning, community living and community-anything. Ahh...Life Together.
I think they are both wrong. Pastor Steve preached two weeks ago that "Justice is the application of Torah [and subsequently Jesus] to life." Justice is hard and nasty at times. It is revolutionarily "soft" at times. I think Pastor Steve hit the nail on the head here. Justice can look like sanctions and petitions and campaigns. maybe. But, if we are going to take the Scriptures seriously as the texts that shape and form the people of God, Justice can look like stones thrown at your head until you die. It can look like relational reconciliation that goes from Jerusalem to Galilee by foot to make it up to my brother and then back to finish my offering on the altar. Or it can look like throwing someone out of church for belligerence and disrespect. The question is, for me, are we applying Jesus' teaching and life to our lives? Then things will be just. Then life will be as it should be--is that not the true meaning of justice, when things are as they should be. I'd like to wrestle with the idea of restorative justice a bit later, but not right now. Right now, peace. happy Lent.
For Judges, police officers and Israelites, it seems to connote hitting people who have done unacceptable and/or repulsive things with rocks, billy clubs, sticks, bullets, jail time, rocks, fists, rocks, jail cells, or the like.
For hippies, Northern Californians (okay, same thing.) and rock stars, it seems to connote large amounts of food to impoverished [African] nations, not giving anyone jail time and/or refusing to hit them with rocks, sanctions on impoverished [African] nations, the (RED) campaign, community housing, community organizing, community planning, community living and community-anything. Ahh...Life Together.
I think they are both wrong. Pastor Steve preached two weeks ago that "Justice is the application of Torah [and subsequently Jesus] to life." Justice is hard and nasty at times. It is revolutionarily "soft" at times. I think Pastor Steve hit the nail on the head here. Justice can look like sanctions and petitions and campaigns. maybe. But, if we are going to take the Scriptures seriously as the texts that shape and form the people of God, Justice can look like stones thrown at your head until you die. It can look like relational reconciliation that goes from Jerusalem to Galilee by foot to make it up to my brother and then back to finish my offering on the altar. Or it can look like throwing someone out of church for belligerence and disrespect. The question is, for me, are we applying Jesus' teaching and life to our lives? Then things will be just. Then life will be as it should be--is that not the true meaning of justice, when things are as they should be. I'd like to wrestle with the idea of restorative justice a bit later, but not right now. Right now, peace. happy Lent.
Ash Wednesday reflections
"You are ashes; and to ashes you shall return."
These words struck me yesterday and have been sitting with me for a while now. I think the relationship often gets missed and instead we see it as an affirmation of our fragility, which it is, and therefore God's security, which it also is. We feel in the receiving of ashes a particular death as the smooth ashes from last year's strange celebration of Jesus' impending death--Palm Sunday--scrape onto our foreheads in the shape of a cross. But what of the relationship between the two phrases? We know they are about are death. But I think that they are really about our life. We are ashes right now, in this moment. Yet we shall return to ashes? This is truly a mystery, but look at it. If we shall return to ashes, then we are something more than ashes. There is something animating these ashes that we are. Though we are dust, this dust is full of life and potential to be made a tool of the living God, the Easter God. Our God is a God of life, not of death and that is something that we must begin to know. Our embrace of death is a means to life and nothing more or less than that. Jesus shows us that in order to find the life that God brings, in order to be given life by God and not by our mothers and fathers or faith communities or neighborhoods, we must die. We must suffer. we must find that all this around us, all that we see and think that we know to be true is but dust. Jesus Christ is True, is more than dust. but in the symbol of dust upon our foreheads, we see and feel and know that Jesus is behind the dust, holding things up and making them worthwhile. If we do not die, we can still suffer the illusion that our lives are not contingent upon God. If we will not be crucified, we will not be resurrected. The living do not need resurrection--the dead do. So I thank God for the whisper of ashes still on my forehead. It is a grace that reminds me of my life.
But dying does not happen the way we want it to. We live in a world fascinated with death. I read an article in the New York Times today about how male models are skinnier and skinnier these days to the point that it is becoming a concern for those in the industry because the men are showing equally disconcerting signs of eating disorders, etc. that the female models have long been criticized for. What is chic? bulimia is chic. cocaine-induced thinness is chic. sunken cheeks, hollow eyes. even the girls in ads these days. Several ads that I've seen depict what appears to be helpless, strung-out domestic violence victims crammed into a bathroom or onto a couch for some sort of quickie before going back out to take a hit off someone's crack pipe. Yippee!!!! Fashion Rules!!! I need some new jeans because my old ones have room for muscles, tendons, ligaments, and epidermis. What was I thinking? I knew I should have just gone with bones this morning. Point is that skeletons, death, despair--these are "in." Life is rarely celebrated. We numb our pain with drugs, be it weed, alcohol, heroine, television, crack, caffeine or any other of the host of entertaining options available. We watch UFC like sick Romans lining up at the Coliseum to watch early Christian martyrs be devoured by lions, tigers, or other human beings. We entertain ourselves into numbness, into nothing, into dust. At the very best we idealize environmentalism, social justice, community and bike rides at the cost of digging into life anywhere. There is, in fact, an image of life that many purport to be chasing but here's the problem: it only involves life. We are still stuck trying to make castles out of the dust that we know, mocking the reality behind reality by either numbing ourselves until dust is all we believe there is or spinning long tales about the magnificent nature of our dust castles and how they are pointing to the real truth of life. For us Christians (okay, monotheists), we believe it points to God (which it doesn't) and for the others, there is a belief in a sort of mystical goodness that somehow makes things worthwhile.
If I'm honest, this is who I am. Though I am aware of my dustiness, I seek to justify it with all that I am. I seek to make it okay for me to be dust and nothing else. And so, for a long time, I have embraced death with reckless abandon because after all, that is who we are, right? I am caught in the tension of which St. Paul writes in his epistle to the Romans. "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?" Of course the answer is a resounding "No!" In fact, to do so would be to mock the Life to which we are beholden for even the breaths that we take in at this moment. Jesus came that we might be saved from the death of an ash-world, not so that we might enter into it irretrievably. Yet I still find myself sinning so that I might know grace, convinced that grace is the removal of guilt--but how can I have guilt unless I sin? No. grace is the fact that I am here, that I exist at all is a profound gift, a grace for which I cannot utter enough thanks. To sin is to move farther from that grace, not to embrace it more. I must move closer to that grace, by accepting the life in each of my parts, in the lonely and frustrated areas of my heart and life. in the impatient, lusty, ugly nasty places of my inside house, I must invite grace in. Lent prepares me for that. By fasting, by giving something up, I clear out a little space to accept the grace of the Father for me. By simplifying my life, cutting down on the complexity of my meals, I remember that even rice is a gift. even salt, even a glass of water are grace to me--and that grace so fills my life and my existence that I cannot wait for Palm Sunday when I can shout, "Hosanna! Christ has come to Jerusalem! And he is going to die so that I might have a life so full that even the voice that cries out is a gift to me!!! Hooray! Hosanna!" Nothing, not even my self is my own. What a wonderful thought.
Lent is a reminder that, in fact, even my own heart is farther from me than I once thought and that knowledge brings life as the waves lap the shore and wash away the dust castles of this world. in this moment, this castle-less moment, God saves us. As we die to our dusty selves, to dusty sin, to the dusty world, God looks at the empty landscape that is exhausted from human efforts to build and build, to create and make the trappings of holiness, and God begins, piece by piece, to build true castles--out of rocks, not out of sand. Out of mortar and brick and wood and straw. Then God breathes life into those castles which, though different from sand, are nevertheless variable arrangements of dust, and the castles begin to glorify the breather of life in a thousand sundry ways. shouting Hosanna! Hosanna! Hallelujah to the God who showed us the way, who died and was raised again to life. Praise Jesus!
Lord, kill me, I pray. I yearn for your life.
"If the house is messy, they might have said, why not clean it up, why not make it into a place where God might wish to dwell?" (Kathleen Norris)
These words struck me yesterday and have been sitting with me for a while now. I think the relationship often gets missed and instead we see it as an affirmation of our fragility, which it is, and therefore God's security, which it also is. We feel in the receiving of ashes a particular death as the smooth ashes from last year's strange celebration of Jesus' impending death--Palm Sunday--scrape onto our foreheads in the shape of a cross. But what of the relationship between the two phrases? We know they are about are death. But I think that they are really about our life. We are ashes right now, in this moment. Yet we shall return to ashes? This is truly a mystery, but look at it. If we shall return to ashes, then we are something more than ashes. There is something animating these ashes that we are. Though we are dust, this dust is full of life and potential to be made a tool of the living God, the Easter God. Our God is a God of life, not of death and that is something that we must begin to know. Our embrace of death is a means to life and nothing more or less than that. Jesus shows us that in order to find the life that God brings, in order to be given life by God and not by our mothers and fathers or faith communities or neighborhoods, we must die. We must suffer. we must find that all this around us, all that we see and think that we know to be true is but dust. Jesus Christ is True, is more than dust. but in the symbol of dust upon our foreheads, we see and feel and know that Jesus is behind the dust, holding things up and making them worthwhile. If we do not die, we can still suffer the illusion that our lives are not contingent upon God. If we will not be crucified, we will not be resurrected. The living do not need resurrection--the dead do. So I thank God for the whisper of ashes still on my forehead. It is a grace that reminds me of my life.
But dying does not happen the way we want it to. We live in a world fascinated with death. I read an article in the New York Times today about how male models are skinnier and skinnier these days to the point that it is becoming a concern for those in the industry because the men are showing equally disconcerting signs of eating disorders, etc. that the female models have long been criticized for. What is chic? bulimia is chic. cocaine-induced thinness is chic. sunken cheeks, hollow eyes. even the girls in ads these days. Several ads that I've seen depict what appears to be helpless, strung-out domestic violence victims crammed into a bathroom or onto a couch for some sort of quickie before going back out to take a hit off someone's crack pipe. Yippee!!!! Fashion Rules!!! I need some new jeans because my old ones have room for muscles, tendons, ligaments, and epidermis. What was I thinking? I knew I should have just gone with bones this morning. Point is that skeletons, death, despair--these are "in." Life is rarely celebrated. We numb our pain with drugs, be it weed, alcohol, heroine, television, crack, caffeine or any other of the host of entertaining options available. We watch UFC like sick Romans lining up at the Coliseum to watch early Christian martyrs be devoured by lions, tigers, or other human beings. We entertain ourselves into numbness, into nothing, into dust. At the very best we idealize environmentalism, social justice, community and bike rides at the cost of digging into life anywhere. There is, in fact, an image of life that many purport to be chasing but here's the problem: it only involves life. We are still stuck trying to make castles out of the dust that we know, mocking the reality behind reality by either numbing ourselves until dust is all we believe there is or spinning long tales about the magnificent nature of our dust castles and how they are pointing to the real truth of life. For us Christians (okay, monotheists), we believe it points to God (which it doesn't) and for the others, there is a belief in a sort of mystical goodness that somehow makes things worthwhile.
If I'm honest, this is who I am. Though I am aware of my dustiness, I seek to justify it with all that I am. I seek to make it okay for me to be dust and nothing else. And so, for a long time, I have embraced death with reckless abandon because after all, that is who we are, right? I am caught in the tension of which St. Paul writes in his epistle to the Romans. "What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin so that grace may increase?" Of course the answer is a resounding "No!" In fact, to do so would be to mock the Life to which we are beholden for even the breaths that we take in at this moment. Jesus came that we might be saved from the death of an ash-world, not so that we might enter into it irretrievably. Yet I still find myself sinning so that I might know grace, convinced that grace is the removal of guilt--but how can I have guilt unless I sin? No. grace is the fact that I am here, that I exist at all is a profound gift, a grace for which I cannot utter enough thanks. To sin is to move farther from that grace, not to embrace it more. I must move closer to that grace, by accepting the life in each of my parts, in the lonely and frustrated areas of my heart and life. in the impatient, lusty, ugly nasty places of my inside house, I must invite grace in. Lent prepares me for that. By fasting, by giving something up, I clear out a little space to accept the grace of the Father for me. By simplifying my life, cutting down on the complexity of my meals, I remember that even rice is a gift. even salt, even a glass of water are grace to me--and that grace so fills my life and my existence that I cannot wait for Palm Sunday when I can shout, "Hosanna! Christ has come to Jerusalem! And he is going to die so that I might have a life so full that even the voice that cries out is a gift to me!!! Hooray! Hosanna!" Nothing, not even my self is my own. What a wonderful thought.
Lent is a reminder that, in fact, even my own heart is farther from me than I once thought and that knowledge brings life as the waves lap the shore and wash away the dust castles of this world. in this moment, this castle-less moment, God saves us. As we die to our dusty selves, to dusty sin, to the dusty world, God looks at the empty landscape that is exhausted from human efforts to build and build, to create and make the trappings of holiness, and God begins, piece by piece, to build true castles--out of rocks, not out of sand. Out of mortar and brick and wood and straw. Then God breathes life into those castles which, though different from sand, are nevertheless variable arrangements of dust, and the castles begin to glorify the breather of life in a thousand sundry ways. shouting Hosanna! Hosanna! Hallelujah to the God who showed us the way, who died and was raised again to life. Praise Jesus!
Lord, kill me, I pray. I yearn for your life.
"If the house is messy, they might have said, why not clean it up, why not make it into a place where God might wish to dwell?" (Kathleen Norris)
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